By way of example, Roatan’s answer to crime on the Jackson Road was to build a six foot by eight foot wooden shack and abandon it by the side of the road without even posting a ‘Police ‘sign on it. The shack will not last as there is bound to be some entrepreneurial construction crew in need of building materials that will disassemble and remove it. The cost of the wood, labor and transport was around $1,000.

Virtue signaling is all around us. The police shack on the Jackson Road is one such signal: “we care to spend money to show we care, but we really don’t.”

I have another idea about a signal: ”yes we do care about policing, but we have a limited budget.” We live in a virtual world with virtual currencies, virtual friends and virtual pets. Why can’t we have virtual police officers?

In Boston a cutout police officer reduced bicycle theft by 67%. Scottish police have been employing cut-out policemen to reduce speeding on the windy country roads with much success. I’ve seen a police cutout with a motorcycle and a pointed radar gun on Panama’s highways. My reaction was to slow down. I figured out they were cutouts, but I also thought there had to be some police presence, as they had to bring the cutouts and, at a minimum, take care of it. So I reduced my speed and drove more carefully.

Why can’t we have virtual police officers?

The life-size cardboard cutout of a police officer can be purchased for $49.66 on Ebay. This is less than buying uniforms, let alone a gun for a real Honduran police officer. In addition that living and breathing national police officer doesn’t speak English, doesn’t know the island, and doesn’t know who-is-who. The cutout fails at this as well, but is well cheaper.

Being a police officer in Honduras is not easy, in point for fact, its hard work. You need training, require a salary, and have to muster constant self-control not to be corrupted or bribed. It’s tough.

Another advantage to a cutout is the constant, professional, and serious demeanor of the cutout police officer. Most police I see on Roatan are looking at their phones, talking to each other, or looking in a random direction. The cutouts are much more consistent and serious looking. The cutout is always there: it is dependable, it’s weather resistant. It’s there rain or shine. It doesn’t take lunch breaks. The “faux” police officer will work until it fails.

Since there are around 200 live police officers on the island currently I think the right number of cutouts should also be 200. Each police officer would be responsible for their own cutout: make sure it moves location every day, doesn’t get damaged by rain or pesky children. Maybe each cutout could have individualized details like make-up, or a flower in the uniform. That would have the criminals constantly guessing: is it real or is it “faux?”

The public also could help out. Stores and individuals that can’t afford to hire a guard could place cutout police in strategic places. The cutout figures of Roatan police should slow down speeding drivers and make robbers think twice before acting. While California parking lots are patrolled by 5 foot tall robots, Roatan could at least have 5 foot card board cutouts.

The biggest benefit Roatanians, Honduran biggest per capita tax payers is an understaffed, severely underfunded hospital we have had for the past 22 years. The new hospital under construction in Dixon Cove is being privately funded.

The most confusing and mysterious tax we pay is the security tax. This puzzling tax is automatically taken from our bank accounts, it’s two Lempiras per every thousand and goes to some government trust managed by some committee. Nobody has been able to give any public accounting for how much these taxes amount to.

The current government touts itself for transparency and they have a very pretty website that shows the projects that have been done with the funds, for example the car rentals for the police vehicles. Nowhere can I find the amount of money that is actually coming in or has come in since the project’s inception in 2011. Back then it was sold to the public as a temporary measure to build up the security forces and only later expanded to 10 years. I’m taking bets on it being extended another 10 years when it’s up. I’ll give you great odds. The last decree I found on this tax states the a special committee for the government trust is obligated to deliver a report on these taxes to another special congressional committee on security. Maybe our congressman could help with this.

The most confusing and mysterious tax we pay is the security tax

From a legal standpoint it’s impossible to get a RTN (tax registry number) on the island. It’s difficult at best and expensive at worse to get one on the mainland and they make you jump through many hoops to get it. If you’re a foreigner in a corporation forget about it. You need powers of attorney and notarized copies or original documents, an RTN and ID on each partner, the sacrifice of a virgin and a couple hundred bucks.

Here’s the kicker, the new tax laws state very clearly that the RTN for any business should be issued with the registry of the corporation, no further requirements. The new practices by the SAR are arbitrary and not founded in the law.

Speaking of laws, let’s talk about the new tax code; you would need to be an accountant, an attorney and clairvoyant to understand it. I did what any rational person would do and took a course with an expert who consulted for the government on this new law and had previously worked with the DEI. I asked the pertinent questions regarding the taxes affecting our local businesses, specifically real estate, and left more confused than when I started. So from my research and the “expert” opinion we are in the dark.

Here’s a list of some of the other taxes that will affect your day to day life and that don’t not just roll around once a year: Sales Tax (15% on food and 18% on alcohol and tobacco, 19% on tourism), Local Municipal Personal Tax and operating licenses, Municipal property taxes and Sales Taxes, Capital Gains Tax (on the mainland 10% and on Bay Islands 4%), Security Tax, Vehicle Registration Tax, Parrot Registry Tax, Import Taxes, Transfer Taxes on Land Sales, as well as local municipal tax on the same sale and registry fees for this same sale for title registry. There is also the very controversial 1.5% income tax law that was reformed in April.

The sad part is, with all the taxes we Roatanians pay, we don’t even have a local tax office we can present our complaints to. Then we might regret what we wish for: they just might have to introduce another tax to build one.

I’ve been living on Roatan for 12 years and coming to work here for the past 22 years. I can remember the unpaved roads in Coxen Hole, and an efficient court system on the island. You could have a petition resolved in three days and one judge took care of it all. Seriously, one judge with a lot of experience and knowledge could do all that. Now we have justices who have nicknames based on the amount of bribe money it requires to get their attention. You know who you are Mr. “20 mil.”

I recall sitting at the breakfast bar at H.B. Warrens in Coxen Hole waiting for the courthouse in the tiny offices next to the Coxen Hole’s “Central Park” to open at 7:30 am. One secretary and one judge had their breakfast there before going to work and neither of them tried to sell you any Avon products, a brick for their church fundraiser, a shirt or ask for money for coffee or Bojangles. In those old days of litigation on Roatan, justice mostly prevailed and the judges based their decisions on actual legal precedents. You understood the reasoning and, dare I say, the logic behind his rulings. It wasn’t perfect, but I’ll take it over the five judges, dozens of clerks, and two secretaries we now have. We are bogged down in bureaucratic red tape and nothing really gets resolved. I, for one, have been frustrated beyond belief.

When I first visited Roatan the judge was the only notary because there was no permanent notary living on the island. Then Mr. Lorenzo became a notary and title transfers took two days to complete. I know of a title transfer taking two years for cadastral certification which was then not registered. As a sign of progress Roatan now has a chapter of the Honduran Bar Association with 85 attorneys and roughly 8 notaries – professionals entitled to do closings and notarize documents. I would be interested in knowing how many cases are presented annually and how many are actually resolved. My non grata persona won’t be allowed to go over and ask. I have requested data from the Supreme Court regarding the Bay Islands courthouse track record, but I’m not holding my breath I’ll actually get it.

We are bogged down in bureaucratic red tape and nothing really gets resolved

Is it really progress when we take longer to get something as simple as a transfer done and tax it to death? All the land in the Bay Islands has already been measured and is in a computer system at the municipal cadastral offices. The name change on a parcel should be straightforward, quick and inexpensive. In practice the title transfers now takes three to six months if you’re lucky. It requires payment of three separate taxes (state and federal transfer tax, and a capital gains tax) plus an additional registry fees: buyers, sellers, attorneys and brokers pay. The amount of red tape and hoops is increasing by the week.

Here’s how I think things could be improved. Arbitration process should be allowed as it is on the mainland with Chamber of Commerce involved in conciliation. Honduran law should also separate the criminal court from the civil, family and labor courts. A courthouse would then house four judges: one or two for criminal cases, one for civil cases, one for labor issues, one for family law. I am just tired of finding excuses to give clients as to why the legal system is broken.